Zartaj Bashir Herl

The idea that “feminists are man-haters” is an outdated stereotype. Feminism does not disparage men instead it advocates equality, not in a physical perception, but in terms of opportunities and resources. For instance, if a man can marry, have kids, and become a CEO, why shouldn’t a woman have the same opportunities without facing judgment? There is a pervasive notion that women should stay home and be nurturers and “good wives,” but this is a matter of personal choice, an inherent right of every individual. Feminism advocates the narrative of women being financially independent and homemakers simultaneously. Women can balance both roles, just as men can contribute to household chores while being providers. It is all about choice, and feminism upholds that every person should have that choice.

Feminists do not harbour hatred towards men; in fact, they support men’s rights as well. The contemporary view of feminism is often misunderstood, with critics claiming it is rooted in misandry. However, feminism fundamentally argues that everyone has the right to pursue their interests and activities, such as education, voting, political participation, bridging pay gaps, and advocating for gender equality, including family court reforms. This is the foundational principle, though today, feminism is frequently misinterpreted. Some believe that women must be hyper-independent and do not need men, which has led to societal repercussions, including mental health issues among women who feel inadequate if they are not financially independent.

Feminism encourages financial independence and the pursuit of opportunities, but it remains a matter of personal choice and should not be imposed on anyone. One of the reasons women feel compelled to be hyper-independent is the pervasive influence of patriarchy. Ironically, patriarchy harms men as well, and feminists aim to eliminate all forms of gender-based discrimination upheld by patriarchy. Men, affected by patriarchy, may fail to express their masculinity positively, leading women to move away from their femininity. Both extremist feminists and men are to blame for blurring the lines between true expressions of masculinity and femininity.

 Extremist forms of feminism have had disturbing implications, turning men and women against each other, when the primary goal of feminism was to bridge gaps between both genders, hence celebrating the beauty of gender roles. Gender roles should not dictate a person’s actions but offer a sense of identity and comfort in one’s skin. Both genders can learn from each other, support each other, and thrive for the betterment of their community and country. Unfortunately, gender roles are often criticized when not practiced in stereotypical ways.

Moreover, real men don’t get offended as soon as they hear the term “feminism”. However, men with misogynistic tendencies and fragile egos cannot tolerate criticism, particularly when it is mild and comes from women—especially feminist women, whom they view as adversaries. To these men, being held accountable feels like an attack. They tend to prefer the company of non-feminist women who do not challenge their misogynistic behaviour. The stereotypical gender roles have made men turn off their ability to sympathise with other human beings. They now lack empathy which has turned them into misogynistic creatures. Feminism seeks to dismantle harmful stereotypes like “men don’t cry” or “man up” by promoting the idea that all genders should be free to express themselves authentically. It advocates for men to embrace traits traditionally deemed “feminine,” such as empathy, compassion, and emotional openness, without fear of judgment. This should have been the case but unfortunately, now even women are hesitant to call themselves Feminists as they will be bashed by all the criticism from the people around them; family, friends, and peers which includes men and surprisingly women too. Some women distance themselves from the movement partly because feminism is often perceived as being anti-male.

 Moreover, the “My Body, My Choice” movement set waves across the globe as the slogan was misinterpreted by the extremists. It doesn’t assert that a woman can wear whatever she wants to. Yes! She has a right to do so but it should not be necessarily exploited. The true essence of this slogan lies in the #MeToo movement which was an extremely appreciative and pivotal movement under the purview of feminism. Since this movement, the revelation of sexual misconduct by well-known male celebrities, journalists, and politicians caused many feminists and non-feminists to change their views about men. This period caused many people to lose trust in men, and for some, that trust was never restored. However, the fact that some feminists dislike men does not mean that all feminists do. Researchers also examined whether feminist collective actions, such as participating in and supporting the #MeToo movement, were connected to negative attitudes toward men. Surprisingly, they found that involvement in the #MeToo movement was associated with anger over men’s mistreatment of women, but not with negative overall perceptions of men. So basically, ‘my body my choice’ asserts that my body should not be touched without my consent. People have boundaries, and others should respect them regardless of their relationship.

Sadly, the true essence of feminism is lost somewhere in the haze. Fundamentally, feminism advocates for equal rights for all genders without imposing rigid gender roles or judgments. It supports the notion that men and women are free to choose their path in life however, this freedom of choice better not be abused. It further seeks to dismantle the harmful effects of patriarchy, which negatively impacts everyone. Now is the time to understand what feminism truly advocates for rather than viewing it as an abhorrent concept. While some extremist views have worsened the reputation of feminism, the core message remains clear: creating a society where every individual is valued and appreciated in their chosen roles while promoting mutual respect, understanding, and growth among all genders. The mission of feminism is to ensure that everyone thrives in their respective domains and contributes to the betterment and well-being of the world. It aims to bring people closer; building bridges not barriers.  

(Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official stance of The Himalayan Research Institute Pakistan - (THRIP)

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 Zartaj Bashir Herl is a student of BS International Relations. She writes blogs, analyses, and articles about feminism, international affairs, global governance, foreign policy, and comparative politics.